Blog About Health & Medicine

Husband and wife repeat the following sentences: “It’s difficult for me to say that I respect you.” “And it’s difficult for me to say that I respect you.” “If I say I respect you, I’ll …” (Say whatever comes to mind next.)

“And if I say I respect you, I’ll …” (Say whatever comes to mind next.)

“I feel I’m giving something away if I say I respect you.”

“And I feel I’m giving something away if I say I respect you.”

“My mother had contempt for my father.” “My father had scorn for my mother.” “My brothers teased my sisters.” “And my sisters degraded my brothers.” “It’s difficult for me to accept your respect or admiration.” “And it’s very hard for me to accept your respect or admiration.”

“If you say you respect me, I’ll …” (Say whatever comes to mind next.)

“And if you say you respect me, I’ll …” (Say whatever comes to mind next.)

“I don’t feel worthy of your respect because …” (Say whatever comes to mind next.)

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The eighteen cards (sixteen high cards and two jokers) are placed face down on the middle of the table. Then the husband and wife take turns drawing one card from the deck. Each time one draws a card, the other asks, “Play or pass?” If the card holder wants to play, he or she must do whatever is written on the card. If he or she says “Pass,” that player may keep that card and draw again. Each partner is allowed three passes per draw. However, he or she must put $50 in the jackpot for each pass. After three passes, should a partner refuse to play, he or she loses the game and forfeits the jackpot. (The jackpot includes the sum of money that is begun with—perhaps $100, contributed to equally.) If each performs what the cards dictate, the winner is the one with the fewest passes. If the game is still tied at the end, the jackpot is divided—and each partner becomes a winner in more ways than one.

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Once the blindfold is (or the blindfolds are) in place, the couple should lie side by side and slowly explore one another’s naked body. They should start by touching nonerogenous zones—forearms, elbows, calves, knees, the top of the head. Next they should caress the erogenous zones, but without dwelling on them—the inner thighs, the inner arms, the ears, the back of the neck, the nipples, the lips, the penis, the vagina. Finally, they should make love. No words should be spoken during the game, but the couple are encouraged to make mental notes of their thoughts in order to talk about them later.

The blindfold acts as an artificial barrier, filtering out the visual effects and the negative judgments that inhibit sexual desire. It also serves as an aid to regression: Being blindfolded brings about a feeling of powerlessness and submissiveness associated with childhood, and likewise arouses the primitive erotic feelings known in childhood. Youthful passion, as we all know, is stronger than adult passion mainly because it has not undergone the “thousand and one shocks that the flesh is heir to” (as Shakespeare put it). The game is designed to help participants rediscover both play and the intense feelings of lust they have been inhibiting (and perhaps been afraid of).

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The game is straightforward and is played by mutual consent. It begins with the “dominant” partner (in this example, the wife) ordering the “submissive” partner, “Take off your clothes and lie on the bed.”

The submissive partner says, “Yes, Madam.”

“And hurry up about it.”

“Yes, Madam.”

The submissive partner undresses but the dominant one remains dressed. When the submissive partner is naked and lying on the bed, the dominant one ties him, hand and foot, to the bedposts or railing (or in some other convenient way), using a soft rope that will not burn the skin. When the submissive is tied down, the dominant stands over the bed, grinning.

“Now you’re going to get what you’ve had coming.” “I am?”

“You are. You’ve been bad, and you know you’ve been bad.”

“I have?”

“Yes, very bad. I’ll show you how bad you are. Do you like this?” (Puts hand on submissive partner’s crotch.) “Yes.”

“You see how bad you are? You like my hand on your dirty thing.”

“Yes.” … “Yes, Madam!”

“Yes, Madam!”

“Now I’m going to punish you.” “What are you going to do?”

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Players: Husband and wife.

Activists: Both.

Setting: Home or away.

Obsessive-compulsives have fixations at this stage, for they usually had parents who were obsessive-compulsives and chastised the kids severely any time they got very dirty. This also corresponds to the potty-training (anal) stage, when children like to play with their feces and are scolded by parents for that. Second, the game gives the compulsive slob more than he or she bargained for, and challenges the rigidity of the obsessive neatnick. This experience creates stress and also liberates them from their guilt-ridden defensive attitudes. When two people are sitting in a tub with (the perfect example) egg on their faces, all pretenses quickly fall aside.

One thing usually leads to another, and the wrestling turns to erotic play and then to sex. It also leads to a fresh look at one’s general modes of relating and of sexuality.

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An article in Emergency Medicine (16# 14:69) contained some rather practical ideas about preventing headaches that migraine sufferers may wish to try.

It is especially important, the article emphasized, for these people to limit their intake of caffeine because, when taken in excess, caffeine can bring on attacks. An excess of caffeine is defined as taking more than 500 mg per day, an amount that is contained in five cups of strong coffee. The need for restricting one’s caffeine intake applies not only to one’s coffee drinking but also to one’s total caffeine intake from all sources.

Migraine sufferers must also eat very regularly, to the point that they get up for breakfast at the same time every day, even on weekends, in order to avoid hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), which can trigger migraine. For the same reason, they should always eat at regular intervals and avoid excess carbohydrates. Furthermore, they should not eat foods that are rich in tyramine (e.g., aged cheeses, chicken livers), sodium nitrate (found in cured meats), or sodium glutamate (which is widely used in prepared foods). It is also important to note that some migraine headaches are triggered by food allergies, which is the subject of the next article.

Migraine sufferers are much less tolerant of high altitudes than are normal persons and should take the drug Diamox (acetazolamine) before ascending. In addition, since they react to feminizing hormones, they should not take oral contraceptives or, after the menopause, estrogens for the prevention of osteoporosis.

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Exercising regularly and intensely enough to increase the pulse rate and make oneself short of breath, many physicians believe, will help a person overcome mental depression. Although there is no scientific proof for this, the Physician and Sportsmedicine (13#9:192) reports, many psychologists and psychiatrists are sufficiently convinced of a beneficial relationship between hard exercise and a positive frame of mind that they now recommend it routinely for all of their depressed patients if there is no health contraindication.

Mental depression of the type that responds to exercise (reactive depression) is defined as a feeling of sadness greater and more prolonged than is warranted by its cause. It is characterized by sadness, dullness, immobility, a sense of helplessness, and loss of self esteem. Depression that occurs without a triggering event and as a part of a severe mental illness (psychosis) will never respond to exercise alone, but requires psychotherapy and special medication.

One need not be a jogger or runner to overcome reactive depression, it has been found, and people who regularly engage in such activities as tennis, walking long distances, swimming, or rowing can benefit. To be of value, however, the exercise should be a kind that is somewhat demanding and also improves physical fitness.

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There is now good evidence to show that smokers’ lung cancer is due to radioactivity carried down into the lungs with smoke. Radioactive lead contained in tobacco is volatilized by the heat of burning and condenses onto the membranous lining of the airways, especially where the passages divide (bifurcations). Over the years, more and more radioactive lead (which “decays” into radioactive polonium) accumulates. Whether or not it stays at these sites largely depends upon how normal a person’s lungs remain.

If damaged beyond repair by tar and infection, the membrane’s lining cells lose their cilia (tail-like processes that, by constantly beating, waft inhaled particles up and out of the chest) and become unable to rid themselves of the radioactive contamination.

Eight groups of scientists recently wrote about this to New England Journal of Medicine, which published their letters together in the same issue (307:309). Most significantly, they reported, discovery of radioactive lead in smoke has been the most powerful anti-smoking influence they had ever encountered. News of it, apparently, has convinced many heavy smokers, for the first time, to stop smoking immediately.

It has also been found that the cancer-producing effect of smoking may not all be due to damage done directly to the lungs. According to the Medical Journal of Australia (2:425), the lymphocytes (one of the many types of white blood cell that defend the body against invading microorganisms) in smokers become much more sluggish than usual.

In particular, the ability of the lymphocytes to become “killer cells,” which attack any other cells of the body that begin to behave abnormally (e.g: become cancerous), is greatly reduced by smoking. This could explain why smokers have so many more infections than non-smokers, and why their tumors, such as melanomas, grow and spread more quickly to other parts of the body. Because the lymphocytes quickly regain their normal killer cell activities when smoking is stopped, it is never too late to give up the habit.

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According to a report in Arthritis and Rheumatism (25:1013), memory loss, inability to concentrate, and changes in personality are being encountered in elderly people who take one of the nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) for arthritis. All of these drugs relieve pain, whether or not it is due to arthritis, and must therefore have some effect on nerve tissue.

Accordingly, it is not too surprising that they can affect the brain as well. Some of the most widely used drugs of this type include Clinoral, Motrin, Nalfon, Naprosyn, Rufen, and Tol-ectin. These effects have appeared after about two months of treatment and have disappeared completely within two weeks after the causative drug has been discontinued.

Because mental changes are so often ascribed to “senility,” be on the lookout for this side effect. Aspirin, as well, can do this, Clinical Pharmacology and Therapeutics (32:362) reports, but only with very high doses that are far greater than most people use.

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To make sure that our bones remain strong and are not too easily fractured in old age, it is essential that we get not only sufficient calcium (1.5-2 grams every day) but also enough vitamin D. Since vitamin D is responsible for efficient absorption of calcium from the diet and for calcium’ s retention by the bones, lack of this vitamin is now regarded as an often overlooked factor in the loss of calcium and the fractures that occur in so many older adults.

A poor dietary intake is not the only cause of vitamin D deficiency, Geriatrics (40#8:45) reports. Other causes include chronic diarrhea, gall bladder disease, kidney failure, absence of the stomach (after its removal because of an ulcer or cancer), alcoholism, liver disease, and certain medications (anticonvulsants and some cholesterol-lowering drugs).

Another factor, Geriatrics (42#7:30) reports, is that old skin is less efficient than young skin at producing vitamin D when exposed to the ultraviolet light in sunshine. Adults, in addition, are becoming increasingly concerned (and rightfully so) about skin cancer, which is likely to occur if the skin is exposed excessively to the sun. However, while minimizing exposure of our skin to the sun, we must take care as we grow older to avoid letting ourselves become deficient of vitamin D.

Normally, we need to get at least 400 units of vitamin D every day and may need twice that much if there is any doubt about our ability to absorb it. However, adults are less likely than children to take vitamin supplements (many older people try to save money by not buying them).

To avoid a vitamin D deficiency, Geriatrics recommends, elderly persons should be exposed outdoors to sunshine at least 15 minutes twice a week. When this is not possible, it is essential that they be given a supplement of the vitamin by mouth.

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