Having said that, it’s important to repeat that every STD is different and can be transmitted in different ways.
This is important for couples who know that one of them has an STD, or who suspect that an STD may have been transmitted from one of them to the other. It will help explain how they can protect themselves or how transmission may have taken place.
Finally, unprotected sex is not unsafe for a couple who are mutually faithful, have tested negative for all of the STDs, and are beyond any waiting periods that are necessary for a positive test for infection to show up, as long as neither of them has other risk factors for infection (such as a recent exposure to infected material by a health care worker, or intravenous drug use).
Before turning to the more general guidelines, I list the practices that we know are absolutely unsafe if you are having sex with a partner whose status for infections you don’t know:
— Receiving vaginal sex without a condom
— Giving vaginal sex without a condom
— Giving oral sex without a condom or barrier
— Receiving oral sex without a condom or barrier
— Receiving anal intercourse without a condom
— Giving anal intercourse without a condom
— Oral-anal contact (rimming) without a barrier
— Contact with your partner’s blood
The following practices are possibly unsafe and should be avoided with a partner whose status for infections you don’t know:
— Hand contact with your partner’s genital or anal area without a glove
— Sharing sex toys without cleaning them or using a new condom on the toy
In the following list of possibly safe, or safer, practices, the first five are unsafe if the condom or barrier breaks. Even with the condom intact, some STDs, such as herpes, may be transmitted. In the first three examples, condoms or barriers must be used for the entire contact, since pre-ejaculate (the small amount of fluid released prior to ejaculation) can transmit infection. Wet kissing is possibly safe if neither person has bleeding gums or other open sores in the mouth.
—Anal intercourse (giving or receiving) with a condom —Vaginal intercourse (giving or receiving) with a condom
— Oral sex with a condom or barrier
— Oral-anal contact with a barrier
— Sharing sex toys with a barrier —Wet (French) kissing
Finally, practices that we know are safe are the following:
— Masturbation in each other’s presence (touching your genitals, nor your partner’s)
— Sensual massage
— Dry kissing
— Hugging
— Fantasizing together
— Rubbing clothed bodies together (without genital to genital contact)
— Bathing together (without contact with a potentially infected area of a partner)
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