Before we look at the main deviations in turn, it is worth clarifying the concept in our minds.
What do we mean by deviation? Where does perversion begin and end? These are difficult questions to answer. For want of a more satisfying approach, one is forced back on the debatable notion of normality.
Physiologically, men and women are complementary sexual organisms, designed for copulation in a range of positions. This of course means vaginal intercourse. Its immediate aim is orgasm, and its ultimate result may be procreation.
All other practices could be considered abnormal. Nonetheless, practices that can lead to orgasm (masturbation, cunnilingus, fellatio, anal intercourse and the use of vibrators and sex aids), are covered in a separate chapter (see page 26). As they are in widespread use by a majority, or at least a fair proportion, of men and women, it seemed appropriate to treat them as a separate category. All we shall look at here, therefore, are:
deviations of physiological origin: homosexuality, bisexuality, transsexuality;
deviations that conflict with the traditional notion of the couple: mate-swapping, the threesome;
symbolic deviations: fetishism, transvestism;
deviations linking pleasure with pain: sadism, masochism;
illegal deviations: rape, incest, paedophilia, voyeurism, exhibitionism.
Some of these practices (e.g. fetishism, transvestism and sado-masochism) are not directly sexual acts and only serve as sexual stimulants; they may not even be followed by an act of sex. In other cases, however, they may by a necessary precondition for reaching a climax in the sex act that follows – and this in itself justifies their being classified as sexual deviations.
There are many other practices too rare to be worth dealing with in this chapter, but we have included some in the glossary at the end.
We shall also try to make the distinction between the major deviations and games “normal” couples may play to add a little spice and fantasy to their sex lives.
Be they occasional games or the essence of a person’s sex life, however, all these deviations have the same origin: sexual fantasies. Some people try to control their fantasies, with or without the aid of a psychotherapist or sexologist; others prefer to neutralize their obsessive aspect by putting them into practice. If they do so only occasionally, in a discreet way and with a willing partner, one cannot really talk of sexual deviancy.
Even if you do not feel this chapter concerns you, read it, because sexuality needs to be studied in its entirety. Read the chapter and discuss it openly with your partner. These tendencies are present, even if buried deep, in most of us, and may develop with time; sooner or later you may find yourself faced with problems on this account. It is as well to know about these tendencies; that way, if one day some kinky notion comes into your head, you will know such kinks are widespread, not at all “abnormal”, and need not become an obsession. They may just be harmless games or passing fancies.
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