All definitions of pornography are based on the idea of a “written description, or representation in drawing, film or photography, of obscene acts.”
The problem with this definition is the notion of obscenity. It contains all the taboos that still surround sexuality – the notion that certain parts of our bodies are dirty, that it is unhealthy to show or touch our genital parts.
When a sexually enlightened couple indulge together in all the range of frolics their imagination and personal tastes suggest, they do not feel they are committing obscene acts. When they watch themselves in the process, they do not feel they are watching an obscene spectacle.
But suppose they write a love story – the story of their own love – and describe their love play in detail. Suppose a film is made of the book. The film and the book would be called pornographic.
The key feature of all “honest” romance novels and films is their hypocrisy. They describe or show the love, the passion, the tenderness of the characters. But as soon as the couple go into the bedroom, there is a total black-out. One never knows if they do anything, or what they do, or least of all how they do it. It is all as if the lovers never made love. And the most amazing thing is that the audience does not even notice there is anything missing – as if lovemaking were really no more than a tiny, unimportant detail in the couple’s life.
The writers of erotic novels and films have understood this hypocrisy very well. But they also know that if they go too far, their book may be banned or their film given an “X” certificate. So they go just as far as they can without being censored, and no further. In these films and books, we know the characters do something; we do not see what they do, but we can guess – and of course we will never know how they did it.
One example will illustrate this. A man and a woman in a standing position, are kissing passionately (this is a romantic scene no one will criticize). The camera draws nearer and we see them in close up. The lady lets herself slide down the man’s body – out of sight of the camera.
One’s imagination steps in to suggest she is now on her knees. The expression on the man’s face leaves us in no doubt what the lady is up to down there.
This scene is not regarded as pornographic. It would only be so if the camera also slid down to show the caresses lips and tongue can lavish on a stiffening penis.
This example shows very well that the difference between a love film, an erotic film and a pornographic film is a difference of the degree to which hypocrisy has been rejected.
One should not take this to mean that under-the-counter novels and the X-rated films shown in specialist porn cinemas are full of intellectual nourishment for people interested in sex. The mediocrity of dialogue and plot, the pointless vulgarities in text and image and the cut-rate technical production are all to be deplored. If one must draw a distinction between eroticism and pornography, it is just that: a simple question of quality. Eroticism can describe or show any sexual act: but it must do so with skill and art!
If a writer or film director succeeds in this, and has the courage to say and show what he wants without hypocrisy, his work ought not to be considered pornographic; indeed its educational value should be recognized. To those who lack imagination it will give new ideas, to those lacking sex education it will show new tricks, and to those who lack the perfectionist spirit it will show ways of giving greater pleasure to their partner.
The other drawback with pornographic films is that women feel very uneasy in the specialist cinemas where they are shown, with the result that men go to see them on their own.
This is a pity, because it would be useful for the couple to compare impressions after the film, telling each other their likes and dislikes. It is a way of getting to know each other better so as to give each other greater satisfaction.
Some of the new European television channels show X-rated films, and this is to be welcomed. The films are often of better quality than those shown in porn cinemas, and couples can watch them together in private, undisturbed by the presence of other people. There are also good X films to be found on the shelves of the video clubs.
Eroticism is everything that springs from our imaginations, everything our minds invent to bring variety to our love play and add a note of fantasy.
Turning a room of your home into a “romper room” where you can create the atmosphere you want, with soft lights, mirrors, erotic pictures, soft music, a video set, a shelf of erotic books and magazines, a wardrobe of sexy underwear and so on – that is eroticism.
Setting up your polaroid with an automatic timer to take shots of the pair of you in full swing – that is eroticism.
Making love elsewhere than in bed – in the car, in the woods, in the lift, on the kitchen table – that is eroticism.
Taking a shower together – that is eroticism.
Looking in the mirror while you make love – that is eroticism.
Serving a sausage for supper with two tomatoes arranged at one end – that is eroticism.
Clothes, gestures or words can all be used to convey eroticism.
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